Couldn’t Do It Today

Blowhard, Esq. writes:

RIP Bobby Keys who died today at 70. In the documentary STONES IN EXILE, Keys comes off as even more rock ‘n roll than Mick and Keef. Here’s Richards, from his excellent autobiography Life, explaining why Keys was fired in the early 70s:

Bobby went down in a tub of Dom Perignon. Bobby Keys, so the story goes, is the only man who knows how many bottles of it it takes to fill a bath, because that’s what he was floating in. This was just before the second-to-last gig on the ’73 European tour, in Belgium. No sign of Bobby at the band assembly that day, and finally I was asked if I knew where my buddy was — there had been no reply from his hotel room. So I went to his room and said, Bob, we gotta go, we gotta go right now. He’s got a cigar, bathtub full of champagne and this French chick in with him. And he said, fuck off. So be it. Great image and everything like that, but you might regret it, Bob. The accountant informed Bobby afterward that he had earned no money at all on that tour as a result of that bathtub; in fact he owed. And it took me ten goddamn years or more to get him back in the band, because Mick was implacable, and rightly so. And Mick can be merciless in that way. I couldn’t answer for Bobby. All I could do was help him get clean, and I did.

About Blowhard, Esq.

Amateur, dilettante, wannabe.
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5 Responses to Couldn’t Do It Today

  1. Toddy Cat says:

    “The accountant informed Bobby afterward that he had earned no money at all on that tour as a result of that bathtub; in fact he owed.”

    I’ll bet it was worth it…


  2. Fenster says:

    I see this is mostly about Keys, but the title and the YouTube selection suggest that maybe you think “Brown Sugar” is something you can’t do today? If so, I beg to differ–or at least I think you can get away with it if you are viewed as being on the right side. Here is a comic from a short decade ago, 2004, in which Condi Rice is referred to as Brown Sugar in Doonesbury.

    Actually I do have a few candidates for Rolling Stones’ Couldn’t-do-it-todays. One is of course Under My Thumb.

    Even better, or worse, is Yesterday’s Papers:

    Who wants yesterday’s papers?
    Who wants yesterday’s girl?
    Nobody in the world.


    • Seems to me that “Brown Sugar” — which deals with both slavery and rape — would make a lot of people uncomfortable in our post-“Blurred Lines” world.

      Agree that “Under My Thumb” and “Yesterday’s Papers” would be verboten too.


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