Uncouth Reflections

Sir Barken Hyena writes:

The Ancient Greeks sacrificed goats to the gods, then roasted them and examined the cracked and burned bones for signs of The Gods’ beneficence. We have corporate Anti-(sexual) Harassment Training programs, which serve double duty as modern ritual and sometimes bane of a working person’s life.

The connection may not be obvious but it starts with this: an overwhelming air of pathetic futility. If I was an Ancient Greek (who always thought of themselves in capitals by the way) and the best I could do to solve some problem was to kill a goat and stare at the bones, I’d feel rather screwed and hopeless. Now they had real problems then, as sexual harassment is a real problem still, but I don’t think this training makes a bit more difference then roasted goat bones.

This won’t hurt a bit

I spent an (un)delightful yet oddly fun hour last week taking my Major Corporation’s program. It was, mercifully, web based. This is far better then the multi-hour Long March I had to endure once, no question (though that one had one presenter who was kind of hot). It was organized in sections with a presentation followed by a test. I soon figured out that I could get 100% on the test without watching the presentations (though I did enjoy the ridiculous stock photography). This was a nice break, but also indicative of the importance of the whole thing – it’s common sense stuff. But still I kept thinking…

My god what tedious silly bullshit this is!

Yeah, yeah, if just one less person is sexually harassed blah blah liberal platitudes blah blah…sure, OK. But it’s clear to me what’s reduced the problem, if it has been reduced, is the threat of lawsuits. Most men know how women should be treated, if they aren’t following it it’s because they don’t care. Web presentations don’t make them care. They’re roasted goat bones to this problem.

Also fun, if you think face-planting is fun, were the oblique references to gay men. Most of the tests consisted of examples followed by a few questions. Several were like “Bob is always teased by the other guys because he’s slender and frail and doesn’t like sports”. You gotta be kidding me. Bothering computer programmers is sexual harassment now? I don’t understand why they didn’t come out with scenarios like “Bob gets teased when he comes to work in high heels and a boa”.

Actually, this will hurt

Anyways, enough sour grapes. I’m not making light of the problem, just the silly attempts to deal with it that are actually nothing more than corporate ass-covering. I don’t have a solution, I’m just here to complain thank you. Presumably the Mad Men of past eras had common sense too but didn’t use it so if it takes lawsuits to keep things cool then we deserve it. At least we get to laugh at the silliness, unlike the Ancients. I think they took their burned bones too seriously.