Fabrizio del Wrongo writes:

Are the Olympics over yet? I overheard a word or two that would seem to indicate that they are. If so — phew! I made it through the entire, agonizingly tacky spectacle without hearing an anthem, digesting an inspirational story, or seeing a single spandex-enhanced wedgie. (Although, now that I think about it, I sort of regret forgoing the wedgies. I’ll make a point of Googling “Sharapova Olympics upskirt” as soon as I finish posting this entry.)

I am, I confess, quite proud of this accomplishment; it’s one of the rosier benefits of my recentish media blackout, which began when election hysteria started ramping up a few months ago. My ultimate goal is to make it all the way through the presidential election without learning anything substantial about the candidates. If I’m lucky, I’ll be even more ignorant by the time election day rolls around than I am now. I will consider this a great victory. Scoff if you must, but I figure I’m better off knowing next to nothing about this stuff. When Chthulu comes knocking at your door, you don’t look him in the face; you turn away and try to pretend you didn’t hear the knock. Your sanity might depend on it.

Some tips on remaining ignorant:

• Ditch cable and get a Netflix Instant account. Watch cool movies and non-political documentaries instead of Fox News and CNN. Of course, you can keep cable and use it very sparingly, but don’t come crying to me if you accidentally catch a few seconds of Bill O’Reilly and end up ruining your entire day.
• When in the car, use your iPod rather than listen to the radio. Recently, I’ve been enjoying listening to lectures produced by The Teaching Company. Fellow blogger Paleo Retiree was kind enough to gift me one on religions during the Axial Age, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I’ve now moved onto one dealing with the Roman Empire. I’m thankful to have avoided hearing Don Imus’ voice for a good three months.
• If a friend (or even an enemy) tries to strike up a political conversation with you, or even wants to talk about some quasi-political thing, like one of those awful awareness campaigns that are so popular now, just pause for a few seconds, look him straight in the eye, and change the topic to something having to do with ’80s sitcom “Perfect Strangers.” He’ll either engage you in a conversation about Balky Bartokomous or he’ll assume you’re sleep deprived and leave you alone. Either way, you’ve won.

I’m telling you, this works. Since implementing this regimen, I feel as though my soul has been douched.

I do confess to absorbing a fair amount of political information via the internet, especially on Facebook. But on the internet everyone is an information hunter/gatherer; you’re free to linger and absorb as you choose. That’s a lot different than television, which is more of an Alex-in-front-of-the-video-screen-in-A-Clockwork-Orange sort of experience.

So, yeah, I pick up things here and there. For instance, I recently learned that someone named Paul Ryan was chosen as a VP candidate. Judging from what I read about him on Facebook, he’s either Mussolini or Jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” Either way, I’m voting for Kodos.