“The Canyons” (2013)

Blowhard, Esq. writes:


I finally got around to checking out this crowdsourced collaboration written by Bret Easton Ellis, directed by Paul Schrader, and featuring Lindsay Lohan and James Deen. Lohan and Deen play dissolute, fringe Hollywood types engaged in various sexual manipulations of one another while ostensibly trying to produce a B-movie. There are a couple interesting moments and Schrader takes a few shots at those kids today and their iPhones ruining cinema, but the movie only just held my interest. Lohan is sexy as hell and shows she can still act, and Deen is an effective BEE sociopath, but Ellis’s script and Schrader’s direction seemed at odds to me. It feels like Ellis wants an American Psycho/50 Shades of Gray mash-up (at one point he was keen on adapting E.L. James’s mommyporn and even names Deen’s character “Christian” in a nod to her books) while Schrader wants something more like a sunlight-saturated SUNSET BLVD. Not that this should necessarily affect my view of the final product, but after reading the highly entertaining New York Times story about Schrader’s attempts to corral his starlet, I frequently found myself wishing Schrader released a documentary about the making of this film instead of the film itself. On the plus side, we got a few more scenes to add to the Naked Lohan montage hosted on DailyMotion.


About Blowhard, Esq.

Amateur, dilettante, wannabe.
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11 Responses to “The Canyons” (2013)

  1. Toddy Cat says:

    So, is Lohan sexy enough to make this thing worth seeing?


  2. agnostic says:

    Nastassja Kinski and the David Bowie theme song made Cat People worth seeing. Guess they can’t do B-movies like they used to.


  3. ironrailsironweights says:

    Strangely light nipples. There’s almost no color contrast between skin and nipple.



  4. Will S. says:

    BTW, thanks to y’all at UR for two boob posts in days of each other, esp. ending with Ms. Lohan’s natural rack. 🙂


  5. Callowman says:

    Her difficulties and probable imminent crash’n’burn notwithstanding, Ms Lohan is awfully bangable. She engages my attention.

    What’s a BEE sociopath?


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