Blowhard, Esq. writes:
Went to a Dodger game this weekend for the first time in many years. A few random observations:
- The most annoying thing was the constant music/sound efx to keep the crowd amped up. There was dance music before the game during batting practice and music clips between every pitch and inning during the game. We were constantly exhorted to clap, cheer, whatever. Every batter had walk-up music. Rihanna, Daft Punk, The Who, Stone Temple Pilots, Marilyn Manson, The Black Keys — JFC, will someone turn off the goddamn radio? And let the dude working the boards know there’s no Oscar for Major League Sound Effects Editing. It’s like sports fans aren’t happy unless they’re in the middle of a Nike ad. Also, I wonder how Beethoven would’ve felt knowing the four note sound of his imminent death is used whenever someone strikes out?
- Not all fat guys are loudmouths, but why are all loudmouths fat guys? Do the surplus lipids strengthen their vocal cords and compel them to constantly shout stupid shit?
- Remember Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham? Yeah, those girls were easy to spot in the stands.
- Vin Scully will never die, right? I’m still not over Chick Hearn‘s passing.
- As you can see in the picture below, lots o’ Mexicans in sportscrap! I’d say about 80% of the crowd in our section were Hispanic. Everyone from the kiddies to the grandmas were festooned in Dodger logo-emblazoned blue. But isn’t it great how all the races have their own sport? Mexicans have baseball, whites have football, blacks have basketball, and Asians have classical music.
- I’m pleased to report that every staff member at the park was exceedingly friendly and helpful. Having the corporate brand tarnished when a fan is nearly beaten to death in the parking lot wonderfully concentrates the front office’s mind. Regardless of why, from the security people at the gate, to the concessions workers, the girls at the souvenir stand, the ushers — all seemed genuinely pleased to be there and wanted you to have a good time. When some dude walking up the steps spilled that disgusting nacho cheese everywhere, I went and asked if they could get someone to clean it up. A worker showed up within three minutes. One other thing: I used a restroom during the 5th inning and it was surprisingly clean. Didn’t Dostoevsky say that you can judge a civilization by the cleanliness of its major league ballpark toilets?
- But what you’re really wondering is how much this all cost. It was $40 for the ticket, which was in the right field pavilion in a special all-you-can-eat section — unlimited hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, peanuts and soda. (I had four hot dogs over the course of about 6 hours, a bag of peanuts, and water.) I got a hat for $40. Yeah, that’s right, I bought some sportscrap — fuck you guys, I’m losing my hair so it’s a practical necessity, OK? Finally, parking was $10 and a program was $5, for a grand total of $95. Expensive, but if you cut out the souvenirs that halves the bill.
When was the last time you went to a major sporting event? (Or minor one, for that matter.) What was your experience like?