Paleo Retiree writes:
Am I reading this right: No more flirting at work?
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Uncouth Reflections 
What with gal schoolteachers being thrown in jail for boffing teenaged boys and this, I feel like we really have gone thru the looking glass and entered bizarro world.
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Well, dude, these women felt “uncomfortable,” “very uncomfortable,” “lousy,” and “confused,” so yeah, absolutely, anything that can possibly make them feel anything other Powerful and Validated must be stopped at all costs. I didn’t realize the mentor-mentee relationship was so poisonous either.
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Where and how are people supposed to meet up (and partner up) these days? I mean, granted that these things can sometimes create uncomfortable and unfortunate situations. But, hey: life.
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I was once pushed out of a job I liked by a lesbian boss who basically had a grudge against straight white males. Wasn’t that a form of harassment? Should I have appealed to the Supreme Court?
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My employers subjected all of us to some extreme anti-office shenanigans propaganda several months back. The message was “If she feels uncomfortable, you have harrassed her.” The didn’t actually say “she,” they said “someone,” but everyone knew they meant “she.” There was also considerable blurring between the concepts of “harrassment” and “assault.” So you came away from the four-hour long A CLOCKWORK ORANGE-style sermon with the idea that an overheard joke or a minor flirtation was tantamount to holding a woman down and forcing your dick into her.
Predictably, a few weeks afterward, a secretary accused someone she works with of sexually harrassaulting her. Turned out to be a seemingly consensual affair. He still got fired.
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It’s not unusual these days for me to read an article about a case of “sexual harassment” and to learn two paragraphs in that it involved a pat on the butt or an attempted kiss. Have we gotten that hysterical? I guess we have. And then people talk about how traumatized they were by the experience. Traumatized by a butt-pat or an attempted kiss — how hyper-sensitive can a person be?
One of the more bewildering things happening among young men is that they are — they really are — telling themselves and each other that they’ve been “raped” when an older lady seduces them. And, because it was rape, it’s been a big trauma for them. Instead of being guys and saying, “Fuck yeah, who’s the dude!” they’re evidently envying and imitating girls … and they seem to believe that in doing this they’re setting matters straight. Everybody’s equal.
It’s all about competitive victimization, I reckon.
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By the way, I think it’s quite likely that this kind of thing will commonly affect behavior in non-work spheres in coming years. You’ll see women accusing men at bars of harrassing them. With facial recognition software, social media, GPS, etc., it’ll be easy to figure out who people are, even right after you’ve just met them. So the woman will publicly accuse Joe Smith of saying something rude at a bar, then he’ll get fired from his job or have his healthcare “taxes” increased or something.
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You’ve got to be right about that. In the article I linked to, I was horrified that these women are taking these EXTREMELY mild experiences public. Good Christ, a man can’t flirt with a woman any longer without her putting his attempts (and her feelings about the attempts) out there in front of the whole world? This is stuff that ought to be negotiated and dealt with in private or — if it becomes a genuine workplace annoyance — within the place of employment itself. (And if it can’t be satisfactorily negotiated there …well, maybe it’s time to go looking for another job. As I did when my horrible lesbian boss’ discontent with me became too much.) When we don’t ridicule articles like the one in Slate, we’re encouraging PC hysterics.
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It’s times like this that I’m glad I’m no younger than I am, and I’m already attached. And then, after all this crap, people will chime in about how repressed sexuality was in the dark days of the “midcentury”. Good Lord, what’s going on between men and women today makes 1962 look like a paradise of erotic delights.
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Heh. You said “facial.”
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Try a Google image search on ‘Bora Zivkovic’.
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Well, that says it all. He’s no dude to go calling women “concubine”.
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LOL.
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Change the male pronouns to female in Monica Byrne’s complaint about Bora Zivkovic, and you get the typical guy’s reaction to the sexual harassment lady lecturing his workplace every year.
“None of these topics were invited by me. I tried to listen politely and nod when he paused, but otherwise not engage or encourage him. He seemed not to notice how uncomfortable I was. I was trying to mitigate the situation as it was unfolding—which I later read is a common immediate response to trauma, trying to minimize it or pretend it didn’t happen.”
What kind of unjust society do we live in where PTSD claims so many unseen and under-appreciated victims every day? The average American believes that such symptoms only affect those who have survived a natural disaster or taken fire from the enemy in combat. But getting awkwardly hit on by a sex-starved nerd with Asperger’s afflicts so many more victims right within our own supposedly “safe” communities. No longer can we remain silent about the hidden epidemic, but must insist that desperate dorks stop awkwardly hitting on us.
Hurry up Monica — not too late to start collecting Social Security disability for your PTSD…
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“Hello, 9-1-1? I just got awkwardly hit on by a sexually frustrated nerd — I’m begging you, send the rape crisis ambulance as fast as you can. And please, make sure they bring a rape kit to see if I’ve suffered any trauma. Oh operator, there’s awkwardness gushing everywhere, for the love of God hurry!”
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You’ve got the makings of a classic SNL skit going.
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All proceeds from our pink plastic SURVIVOR bracelets will go toward the Monica Byrne Fund For the Survivors of Clumsy Come-Ons By Nerds.
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Please, write to your Congressperson and urge them to adopt October as Mentor Repudiation Month. Out of the dark depths of these recent events, some bright light may still shine for future generations.
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