Fabrizio del Wrongo writes:
Around the time this blog launched, I wrote about enjoyably silly movie theme songs, a thing that mostly disappeared from movies in the ’70s or ’80s. I just love those kitschy tunes.
I need to add a new one to my list: the theme from “The Last Dinosaur.” Produced by Rankin/Bass, and featuring loads of cheesy creature effects, the movie aired on television in 1977.
The plot focuses on the evocatively named Masten Thrust (magma-faced Richard Boone). He’s a wealthy industrialist and big-game hunter who uses women and leaves them wanting more. When Masten runs out of things to shoot and/or hump, he tunnels below the earth’s crust, where, as everyone knows, dinosaurs still thrive.
Among his crew is a woman with a great ass (Joan Van Ark). She falls for another crew member while Masten is busy strategizing against an enormous Tyrannosaurus Rex whom he’s adopted as his nemesis. Ultimately the girl and her keister return to the modern world, leaving Masten to duke it out — alone, Hemingway-style — with the voracious rubbery beast.
It’s at this point you realize that the last dinosaur isn’t the T-Rex at all. It’s Masten Thrust, a man so magnificently manly that modernity can’t sustain him.
It’s a terrifically goofy B-movie concept, and there are a bunch of good things in the picture. Yet it feels padded. It’d be a lot more enjoyable if was about 30 minutes shorter.
Still, its shortcomings are easy to overlook in light of that theme song. It was written by Maury Laws and Jules Bass, and sung by Nancy Wilson.
His time has passed . . . there are no more . . . he is the last dinooosaurrrrr!