Uncouth Reflections

Fabrizio del Wrongo writes:

The movies are getting good ­and tough. I’m all for it, myself. I like the rough-and-ready atmosphere of such a picture as “A Girl in Every Port.” My boy friend does, too. Tip to girls: if you want to be The Girl in your particular port, don’t turn up your nose at the pictures of the “What Price Glory?” school, unless you want to pay your own way to the movies. You may prefer to see the smiling face of your pet actor to the scowling countenance of Victor McLaglen, but don’t you let on. And when you see one girl after another parade on the screen, smile, darn you, smile! It seems that no longer must movie men be beautiful. McLaglen and Robert Armstrong, his team mate, will certainly never win any prizes for pulchritude, but the boys are there with the wallop just the same. They’re a great combination, artists at fisticuffs or kisses, getting away with murder and everything but matrimony in every port. Don’t pity the poor sailors any more; don’t waste your pity. Although there are gobs of girls in this sailor’s paradise, there is not a single Heroine, or even a married one. Louise Brooks, Leila Hyams, and many, many more are present to liven things up; but not even Louise makes more than a dent in the big, big heart of the two sailor-boys. They’re soon off on another cruise, and ­ there’s a girl in every port.

— Unsigned review of “A Girl in Every Port,” from the May 1928 issue of “Screenland.”