Paleo Retiree writes:
Enjoyably cheesy, made-for-Showtime flick from 2005 that crosses a shipwrecked-on-a-Caribbean-island adventure story with a lot of heavy-breathing sexual suspense. For most of the movie, Billy Zane, Kelly Brook and Juan Pablo Di Pace (a fiery young Latin Lover type) are the only people on screen. Storywise, the movie is about the faceoffs between the two men as they bid for Kelly Brook’s attentions. Juan Pablo throws off a lot of smoldering Banderas-like sparks, and Billy Zane chews the usual — ie., awesome — amount of Billy Zane scenery. Gotta wonder why hip directors don’t make a showy point of casting Zane in their movies. He’s as distinctively flamboyant in C-movie ways as Christopher Walken.
But — and let’s be frank and cut to the point — the movie’s main attraction is the gorgeously upholstered Kelly Brook, who washes up on the island dressed in a white bikini and a silk wrapper, and who proceeds to galumph, run, snooze, agonize, and make love on the beach and in the ocean. Curvy, thy name is Kelly. The acting chops don’t amount to much, but what a likable pinup girl she is. According to webrumors, Brook asked the film’s producers to cut out a few of her nude scenes, and they refused. Knowing that fact — or at least thinking that I know that fact — was part of the fun of watching the movie too.
Related
- At Netflix, the film is, alas, only available as a DVD.
- But you can buy your very own copy for a mere $6.99.
- Or you could skip all the narrative baloney and just enjoy the highlights.
- Kelly adds some joy to “Piranha 3-D” — a fab movie in its own right — too.
Blowhard, Esq.
Callowman
Sherbrooke
Eddie Pensier
Enzo Nakamura
Epaminondas
Fabrizio del Wrongo
Fenster
Brundle Guy
Glynn Marshes
Paleo Retiree
Atypical Neurotic
Question Lady
Sax von Stroheim
Sir Barken Hyena
The Mistaken
Uncouth Reflections 
The first time I was in London, back in ’98, Kelly Brook was the co-host of one of the morning shows there called The Big Breakfast. Yowza. She was every bit as memorable as Big Ben, the National Gallery, et. al.
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National treasures, each and every one of them.
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This movie is NOT recommended for young men who work in book publishing and fret about the supposed sexism of the field.
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LOL.
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Ooh, it’s Kelly off the telly. How very nice. And how very nice.
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Why did it increase your enjoyment of the film that the actress didn’t want as many nude scenes in?
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I love the aura of gossip and such that surrounds movies. For instance: Susan George sort of regrets her role in “Straw Dogs,” and talks about what a dick Peckinpah was. Then she uses her character’s name from the film as the name of her own production company. The combo of shame, shyness, boldness, and sheer opportunism enhances my enjoyment of “Straw Dogs.” Knowing that Kelly Brook (after all, a professional pinup girl, and one who was romantically involved with her co-star at the time) had misgivings, or said she did anyway, about some of her scenes in this movie, makes the movie all the more fascinating and erotic for me. Which ones made her feel embarrassed? Why? Did she really say that, or did her agent (or b.f.) make her say it? Helps me through the boring sections, for one thing. Makes the hotsy scenes twice as interesting.
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